Speaking of unique and fun baby shower gifts, Sloane received a gigantic gift, along with an impressive presentation of the goods. Care to read about it?
Our family friend, Regi, happens to have a jumbled nickname. When my sister went to introduce Regi, our proud lesbian friend, she meant to say, "This is Regi - our token lesbian". In typical Hovde girl fashion, it came out jumbled, "This is our Resbian".
Anyhow, long story even l-o-n-g-e-r, when it came time for Nicole's baby shower, she didn't bother to show. (Maybe it's because she was busy having her baby at the hospital, but only maybe...) Lara decided to ask everyone to grab a present, just not the one they brought, and we took turns opening the gifts. While we all had such a wonderful time discovering, then playing with the little pink gifts, no one was quite prepared for Regi. She opened up a Boopy and a breast pump. Please let your mind run wild on what expression overcame her face and how she tried to describe the breast feeding accessories and her creative ideas for their uses. Surprisingly so, it is not obvious to every woman what these are used for...
Back to my shower... Regi knew I was going to ask the guests to open the gifts instead of me. Let's face it, the idea might sound awful and perhaps that I am ungrateful, but truly, my just-delivered-a-baby brain had limited storage and lacked focus abilities. I was able to enjoy everyone opening the gifts while I wrote a very detailed list for my thank you notes.
The grand finale of gift giving was bestowed upon Regi. She brought out this extremely large plastic storage container from Target; you know the one manufactured by RE? Regi had "defaced" the packing label by adding SBIAN KIT to it. Need I spell that one out for you? RESBIAN KIT. The lid was strapped down by an orange bungee, which we were informed every good resbian needs.
Without further ado, here is the list of Resbian Must Haves:
- The usual resbian grey Gap thermal shirt with matching socks
- Standard issue uniform: white t shirt, khakis, and hiking boots (which Regi was wearing, too!)
- A plaid shirt, for dress up
- An ASU baseball cap
- A rash guard and board shorts (since resbians would never wear a bikini)
- A Matchbox Bentley
- A baseball bat, glove and baseball (the only thing pink was the glove & I'm sure it bothered Regi to purchase that color)
- A football
- A soccer ball
- A basketball
- A referee bib
- A Phoenix Mercury backpack (must represent the strong women of the WNBA)
- A Minnesota bottle coozie
- A tool kit
- Finding Nemo (a strong leading actress - Ellen DeGeneres)
- A Human Rights Equality sticker
It's nice to know if Sloane decides to ride on the other side of the bus, she will have a strong lesbian role model. =) If she does become boy crazy, like her mama, then I can rely on Regi and my sisters to teach Sloane all about sports. She will need to know as much as she can to engage the boys in sporty conversation...
